Had a wonderful winter break..but


Arghhhh..slacked blogging for more than a month..guilty >_<>


Attended an information session about Human Rights Internship..embarassed as I realized that the internships are for law students who had completed many core subjects..they are not for a first year student like me..previous interns shared their experience in working for human rights in New York and Durban..envious of them for getting such valuable experiences..getting into dilemma again..i am interested in helping people but the sayings about the gloom future in getting into this field struck me again and again..many of the seniors that I knew are planning to go corporate..what about me? Money and ambition are both important..i know how important money is to survive and to enjoy my live..esp I love travelling so much that not being well off would be an obstacle to travel all around the world..i need money to improve the life of people that I love..esp my parents..However at the same time I gain satisfaction in helping people..the only way that can make me feel that my life is worth living is by helping people..i always think that I am not smart nor talented..neither can i make a change to this world nor can I compete intensely to feel the usefulness of my existence in this world..the only thing that make me aware of my value is by helping people and contribute to society..im serious..influenced by drama series and real life stories..it seemed to me that I have to be either very smart or competitive to be successful..but I can't associate myself to both of them..thus I feel diffident and worthless..in law school..where everyone seems to be bright and capable..i feel the pressure..i question the point of my existence..i don't like to compete with people..but at the same time I want to be successful..but I dun feel satisfaction in studying and showing off my ability..the only way of feeling the contentment is by doing something that benefits someone in need..a smile of gratitude is like a shining star..the moment of knowing that someone get better off because of me is the moment when I acknowledge my own existence in the world..can I set this as the direction of my life?


Addicted to Hong Kong drama series although new SEM has started..now I have new addiction..reading Conan's Manga again..my passion towards Conan never dies..i don't have interest for any manga except to Conan..how strange is the chemistry that makes people fall in love like this..everlasting love..I was in love with it since many years ago..the passion never die..hehe
Kudou Shinichi..the great, cool, handsome detective..my imaginative bf..hehe..i lov uuuu!!!!! :P